ALSOO hilarious how two of my brief semi-obscure comic hyperfixations from 2019 get film/tv adaptations at THE EXACT SAME TIME and one is indescribably amazing and the other is mindblowingly bad. like. they took ALL the potential that morbius could have ever had and pumped that STRAIGHT into moon knight. absolutely worth it honestly moon knight is so good. and i take up enough of the insanely hyper specific target audience that the morbius movie has that i manage to against all odds enjoy it anyway
I’m just glad to have found someone else who acknowledges that Morbius high key sucked but also admits enjoying the glorious dumpster fire it turned out as.
hades isn’t a badass. hades named his three-headed-guard-of-the-underworld-dog spot. hades whispers to his flowers to make them grow. hades grows fruit. there’s no sun in the underworld.
hades isn’t a badass. stop saying this false thing
In myth, Hades’ most remarked upon traits are 1) how responsible/reliable he is, 2)how sober-minded he is, 3)how dedicated, implacable, and long-remembering he is, and 4)how boring and grim most of the other Olympians think he is to be around. Oh and notably, that if you play him a song he likes, he’ll basically give you anything you ask for(though not without conditions).
Hades is, canonically, a gigantic nerd. If they’d had trainsets, he’d have been the Olympian who collected trainsets, meticulously corrected with exacto knife and hobby-paints the errors toy-makers introduced to those trainsets, and then endlessly talked about those trainsets to anyone sat next to him at Thanksgiving Dinner :| When he wasn’t trying to rope them into an interminable discussion about gardening or divine law, that is :| :| He’s the sort of god who frequently handed out punishment like giving someone a million-piece puzzle where every piece is shaped the same, that resets itself at the start of every day if you don’t complete it, and then he keeps the last piece on his person at all times as a secret private joke for eternity because he finds you personally distasteful(not even because he’s mad at you or hates you particularly; he just doesn’t like you as a person) :| :| :| He is. A Gigantic. Nerd.
He’s also like one of the only gods who is faithful to his wife. And he listens to her like when she asks for a soul to be released and he’s like “But honey, the rules.” And she just gives him that look and he goes “Yes dear,” and lets the soul go with the easiest freaking instructions ever in a myth. And the human still fucks it up. Not his fault Persephone, not Hades’ fault this time. Essentially, Hades is sorta like the accountant suburban dad who collects really specific figurines and gets really grumpy when people mess up his lawn. Do you know how hard his wife worked on those roses? He is calling his attorney. Oh wait, he is also an attorney.
Filed under: Favorite Myths
Everybody knows it’s Persephone that you’ve got to watch out for.
This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!
This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.
WHAT?
The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.
WHAT?????
Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?
Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.
Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.
WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL
This is very true lol
Yo what the f u c k
not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important?????
I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.